So how does one cultivate empathic curiosity? A response that’s important and necessary before empathy. That means embedding an iterative culture across the Civil Service, giving civil servants the power and self-confidence to drive continuous improvement, using technology to tackle bureaucracy and opening up more of our data. Given that humans are a social species that have spent much of our history in small tribes, and that our very survival depended on belonging to a group, there is a clear evolutionary advantage to anything that can help us foster deeper connection with each other. Because the truth is, … (source). Let your curiosity lead you to new horizons! Join to explore the role empathy and curiosity play in achieving positive change. Dr. Jodi Halpern, who has spent years researching empathic curiosity in the doctor-patient relationship says, "Caregivers who can learn to sustain their genuine curiosity about and receptivity to patients' perspectives, even in the midst of emotionally charged interactions, not only reduce levels of anger and frustration for both parties, they can significantly improve decision-making on both ends and increase the effectiveness of treatment” (, Then of course you could ask plenty of open-ended questions directly to them, not just questions that can be answered by yes or no, but questions that really start to engage them. The what-how-why framework can help you translate your (assumption-free) observations into more abstract user motivations. She wanted women to hear the messy stories of other women. And the central question: what is it like to be them? I’m glad I did. But it would have been a mistake. Thankfully, a number of fascinating studies highlighted in this article show how even brief moments of mindfulness can be effective at helping reduce our cognitive biases. To get all of HBR’s content delivered to your inbox, sign up for the Daily Alert newsletter. But also, possibly, exciting and freeing. Curiosity is the mind. She wanted women to hear the messy stories of other women. She went with a curiosity to understand, to have conversations, meet people and expose herself to the other side of the political divide, to really see if she could understand what was happening in America. I am not driven to act. Big data and remote sensing for human well-being. The wikipedia page on cognitive biases is a fascinating read and it will give you a sense of just how much the mind likes to categorize and sort things, oftentimes to great detriment. Leading with empathy means to go with our best guess about the impact for the customer and hope for the best. He’s feeling the challenges of his family and the psychological shift of being alone in his house versus in an office. To feel it all requires courage. A mistake because, especially in this very new, very unique moment, there’s a response that’s even more powerful when someone expresses their vulnerability. All I’m left with is me. So when Keller told me he was feeling deeply unsettled, I asked him to tell me more. That can be scary. A response that’s important and necessary before empathy. Curiosity is good for us too: Happiness guru Martin Seligman identifies it as a key character strength that can enhance life satisfaction. You can’t hate something if you’re curious about it. And then it occurs to me that, maybe, painfully, this is part of what this moment is about: I am learning about myself. He’s feeling the weight of these times, of the uncertainty in human life. Before going any further, I highly recommend you watching this powerful TEDx Talk by Theo E.J. Empathy is strength, and an asset towards surviving and thriving in any environment. This week we will explore six ways to increase Empathic Curiosity. Just be present. Maybe you’re feeling a little of that? Following this thread: “Curiosity -> Knowledge -> Understanding -> Empathy” Aka: “Curiosity => Empathy” Curiosity becomes a requirement for empathy. And that’s curiosity. Then of course you could ask plenty of open-ended questions directly to them, not just questions that can be answered by yes or no, but questions that really start to engage them. Given that humans are a social species that have spent much of our history in small tribes, and that our very survival depended on belonging to a group, there is a clear evolutionary advantage to anything that can help us foster deeper connection with each other. We listen for what’s behind the words.” ~ Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart. This journey requires internal reflection and the organization's commitment to ensure its success. One of the many biases to be mindful of in the case of listening to others, is confirmation bias, or "the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one's preexisting beliefs or hypotheses" (source). Empathy is how you value the bonds between yourself and others. Empathy is strength, and an asset towards surviving and thriving in any environment. About this Event Diversity and Inclusion is not a check the box activity, but rather a journey. We so often want to confirm what we already know to be true, to sort information based on our mental maps and models of how the universe works to us and put new information into neat tidy places within that model. Together they are intended to create enough safety for people to do the work they need to do. Coronavirus: Leadership and Recovery. (source), Strengthening our empathic curiosity has many benefits. In this latest post on applying Talmudic principles in mediation, we discuss two vital mediation techniques — encouraging empathy and exhibiting curiosity — … "Listen with curiosity. One way to listen and receive another is to practice mindfulness. According to a number of articles from the Berkeley Greater Good Science Center that summarize recent studies, it appears that curiosity helps us connect better, strengthen our relationships, cope better with rejection, be less aggressive, strengthen empathy, be happier, and even helps us step outside of our comfort zone (, Empathic curiosity even increases our health and wellbeing. Curiosity: Prompt the customer for details: How much does the issue impact their work? To have empathic curiosity is to ask open-ended questions that cause the patient to think differently about how they perceive their situation and to problem-solve in more effective ways. (, Strengthening our empathic curiosity has many benefits. Curiosity and empathy for ourselves as well as those around us may feel vulnerable, but it is the first step to genuine value in all areas of our lives and those of others. A curiosity that leads to knowledge from learning via experience or literature. Empathy, Compassion, Curiosity, and Risk. It is particularly effective in meeting the needs of children and young people who have experienced trauma. And you may be only a few questions away from starting to understand the human being behind the caricature. It’s the very lens of our worldview. One of the effects of social distancing and working from home is that we are left, much more than usual, with ourselves. To do that, everyone needs to get curious, ask questions and develop empathy through sharing their unique perceptions of the world. When Keller slowed down enough to feel, his ultimate experience wasn’t depression. It Which is why, as important and difficult as it is to stay curious about others, there’s something equally important — and far more difficult — to do: We need to stay curious about ourselves. True Curiosity Enables Empathy… But it is the wrong reason to act. What are they conveying with their words, their body language, their tone, the light behind their eyes? When others say that someone is evil or crazy, or even a hero or an angel, they are usually trying to shut off curiosity… cross or frustrated. We’re all feeling unsettled. That famous study on the. We should be genuinely curious and go out of our comfort zone to learn things. how disruptive it’s for the user. First, to truly listen requires that we are present. “Of course,” I could reply, “we’re in unsettling times. How can you not be unsettled in the face of such dramatic and unpredictable market swings? When information comes in that doesn't fit our model, it can threaten our ideas of the universe, how things work, and even our very definition of self, and this can create intense feelings of discomfort, uncertainty, and even anxiety. So I tap into my courage and I don’t act. You can approach the situation from a place of questions: how did this person come to be as they are? This didn't mean that she lost her political beliefs, but it meant that she was willing to follow her curiosity about the person in front of her and connect so that she could begin to see how this person saw the world. Or, as Keller put it, unsettled. Empathy Starts with Curiosity. Curiosity is how you value your others. Badgers bring heart—empathy and humility—to everything that we do. Is it by reading more books, watching documentaries or movies about people's lives? Empathic Curiosity draws no conclusions, makes no statements, is free of assumptions, has no implied identification with the patient and most importantly, and does not attempt to interpret behavior. A response that’s important and necessary before empathy. It’s what happens when diversive curiosity grows up.”, Empathic Curiosity is “when you genuinely try to put yourself in the shoes - and mind - of the person you’re talking to, to see things from their perspective.”, Historically, Ian Leslie argues that although we've always had all three of these forms of curiosity, epistemic and empathic curiosity flourished on wide scale with the invention of the Printing Press. See, Keller didn’t talk to me about his role as CEO, his operational challenges or his investments. Throughout the empathise phase, you should constantly be considering the what, how, and why of your users’ behaviour. Elizabeth Lesser has a TED Talk called "Take the Other to Lunch," in which she talks about her initiative to counteract the tendency to otherize: take anyone that you consider the "other" out to lunch and have a conversation with them, to really try to get to know them. Curiosity and Empathy. Dr. Jodi Halpern, who has spent years researching empathic curiosity in the doctor-patient relationship says, "Caregivers who can learn to sustain their genuine curiosity about and receptivity to patients' perspectives, even in the midst of emotionally charged interactions, not only reduce levels of anger and frustration for both parties, they can significantly improve decision-making on both ends and increase the effectiveness of treatment” (source). A number of years ago, she decided that she wanted to understand why America was becoming more and more divided. It was optimism. Save; Share; Because the truth is, I don’t know what’s going on for Keller. Joy and sadness. Think; don’t assume.” ~ Raji Lukkoor. This ability to put oneself in another's story had never been available in this way before. What if we resist the urge to act — to just do something — and, instead, stop doing? Definitions of empathy encompass a broad range of emotional states. “Asking questions opens up new doors, new opportunities, and new ideas. Humility is how you value yourself. May 23, 2020. "The major index of the rise in empathic curiosity was literature: fiction, drama, and poetry. As Ian Leslie argues, empathic curiosity skyrocketed during the time when the literary novel was invented. One of the effects of social distancing and working from home is that we are left, much more than usual, with ourselves. No praise or even rejection. She ended up spending over 5 years taking trips all over the "fly over" states and wrote a book on her experience called Strangers In Their Own Land: Anger and Mourning in the American Right. And when I don’t act, I am, literally, left behind. Strangers In Their Own Land: Anger and Mourning in the American Right. Everyone called him Shorty. We listen to reply. Who are we when we are no longer reflected in the faces of the people around us? The difference between curiosity and sympathy is a key element to building strong, trusting relationships. Aren’t empathy and curiosity are traits that adults either have, or don’t?” And it may in fact be easier for people to work together on a diverse team if they come onto the team already inclined toward those approaches. Hope the customer will be so impressed by our excuses that won’t dare to ask again. Ian Leslie classifies three types in his book Curious: diversive, epistemic, and empathic. Over the past few weeks I have often felt lost, surrounded by people scrambling to move. So, I ask you, in this moment, can you stop everything for a beat, take a breath, and be curious? We develop and demonstrate a cultural understanding of ourselves and others; we engage locally, nationally, and globally in a respectful and civil manner; and we appreciate and celebrate one another’s abilities, views, and accomplishments. While I was helping design a global museum exhibition on the Science of Happiness, our team had many enlightening conversations about how technology could help us illustrate the concepts we hoped to convey. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. What do they long for in their heart? What are you feeling? Describe to my newsletter about personal growth here and receive a free Ebook! Curiosity to constantly reinvent ourselves “The traditional model of studying, working, and getting a master’s degree no longer works … Having lived in Berkeley, CA, one of the most liberal cities, she decided that she wanted to go to a completely opposite place, somewhere in the Deep South. And that’s curiosity. We had started to explore partnerships with Augmented Reality devices with the hopes that people could put on a headset and go through the museum through the eyes of a number of different people: a short person, a tall person, a person in a wheel chair, etc. In her talk called "Scaling the Empathy Wall: Listening with Curiosity and Interest," Arlie told many stories from an exploration that had captured her curiosity for many years. Speak with honesty. Verna Myers, in her, Thankfully, a number of fascinating studies highlighted in, Arlie Russell Hochschild has done this for years. Being curious about ourselves is how we begin to know — really know — who we are. The best thing you can say to someone is: “Tell me more.”. Educating for Curiosity, Empathy, and Imagination. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. He did this by leading with honesty, empathy, and curiosity (and humor!). Empathy and Curiosity are our driving factors. Harvard Business Publishing is an affiliate of Harvard Business School. And with the invention of movies, documentaries, the internet, blogs, podcasts, and live video streaming all over the planet, we have many many other ways of putting ourselves in another's shoes and seeing the world from another's eyes. Curiosity expands our empathy when we talk to people outside our usual social circle, encountering lives and worldviews very different from our own. What would actually seeing through the eyes of another while walking around do for empathy, compassion, curiosity and expanding our hearts? Essentially, “epistemic curiosity represents the deepening of a simple seeking of newness into a directed attempt to build understanding. So deeply listening is a powerful skill to cultivate as we strengthen our empathic curiosity. A regular meditation practice that helps us become aware of our endlessly chatty mind is a great way to illustrate just how incessant our thoughts are and how much they overlay our experiences of life. But unless it’s allowed to deepen and mature, it can become a futile waste of energy and time, dragging us from one object of attention to another without reaping insight from any.”, Epistemic Curiosity occurs when we are challenged, entrained, and focused by our curiosity. Listen; don’t talk. Which can lead to some loss of our sense of self. Here is an excerpt from an article written by Peter Bregman for Harvard Business Review and the HBR Blog Network. This simple exersice is a great step towards a better connection with life. Last week we explored how to become more curious in a general sense. In fact, Keller hardly knows what’s going on for Keller. Another article concludes, "very curious people are viewed by strangers … No feedback at all to define us. She believes that hearing other people’s stories allows us to practice empathy and move away from the harmful ways we sometimes communicate. Leadership & Managing People Book. Which leads to a new confidence, an irrepressible power, and a profound freedom to act — not out of fear and insecurity — but out of purpose and connection and strength and longing and love. Thrill and anger. A response that’s important and necessary before empathy. 4. That is what is required of us now, in this new moment. More importantly, I am learning to tolerate myself, to stay with myself, even in my fears, even in my insecurities. If our content helps you to contend with coronavirus and other challenges, please consider. And when I see that I am capable of staying with myself in my fears and insecurities, I no longer have to act to avoid them. Humility is not knowing. According to a number of articles from the Berkeley Greater Good Science Center that summarize recent studies, it appears that curiosity helps us connect better, strengthen our relationships, cope better with rejection, be less aggressive, strengthen empathy, be happier, and even helps us step outside of our comfort zone (source, source). It’s our duty to put them into practice. Epidemiology . This can leave us feeling lost. It helps you think, create, and discover.” ~ Farshad Asl, Whether you are going on a first date or have been married for 30 years, whether you are just meeting someone at a social gathering or meeting up with a dear old friend, asking questions can open up a world of understanding. "Being curious and asking questions creates engagement. Another article concludes, "very curious people are viewed by strangers and close friends as comfortable, animated, interesting, and fun." We may disagree with them strongly, but really listening does not mean that we need to set aside our morals or values or anything we hold dear. "Listen with curiosity. There are a number of things to be mindful of in order to fully listen to someone. Speak with honesty. Even though our museum exhibition is currently on pause, there are many people that are exploring this concept with Virtual Reality. They have an experience of life, a history, a convergence of circumstances that has brought them to their opinions. Finally, curiosity requires a lower level of effort compared to empathy: (a) Curiosity is easy to encourage and implement – I’ve come across support and field consultants telling me that a customer has raised an issue but they are unsure about the level of priority, i.e. We listen for what’s behind the words.” ~ Roy T. Bennett, Another thing to be mindful of is our biases. And you’re in the investment community. 22.95 Add to Cart. And that scares me. 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